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dustsettles [May. 11th, 2004|01:17 am]
[mood |cheerfulcheerful]
[music |Breaking Benjamin - No Games]

kings lost again, damn them all to hell.

there was this phat gas line imploding thing that happened today, and it went right under the I215 and westbound 60. Oh shit, if your not from the IE then you don't know how much that fucked up traffic. Gridlocked.

I think tonights conversation with laura was like 3 hours. Fucking crazy, mostly just talked about all the shit i've been through. I feel like her mentor cuz she's so young and i give her so much advice about everything. Life, school, sex, politics all that good stuff. I got a good 3+ years on her... okay 4+... fuck, 4+ years worth of knowledge for her to benifit from. I guess the reason I'm drawn to her is because she has the outlook of someone much older, someone my age. I listen to all these other people in high school bitch about these petty little things, or about how their life is over cuz they got their heart broken. When it comes to the normal "high school bullshit", she's got the most positive and passive attitude i've ever seen from someone her age.

One of the gayest things about our fucked up school system is how at about 8th grade you get that "What do you want to be when you grow up". And the next 4 years of your life your programmed to think that you have to achieve that and if you don't your a failure. The biggest stressors i see people freaking about is not being able to reach expectations that have been forced upon them by themselves and others, mainly parents and teachers.

So what does she want to be when she grows up? "I want to be Happy". That's like my ultimate outlook on life, and we share it. Set goals for what you want to do, but the bottom line is do what makes you happy, not what everyone says you need to do or achieve.

One of my friends stated the opinion "shes just a replacement", but it's not like that at all. She's different, and not in the 'she's different oh baby oh baby' kinda way. It's strickly a friends kinda thing, but it's a different kinda friends thing. Well, either that or it's 1 am and i'm fucking delirious and don't know what the hell i'm talking about. Ya, I like the latter.

Shit it's late i'm out-
link11 comments|post comment

anakin auditions [May. 10th, 2004|05:42 pm]


It's the shiznit
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oh shit [May. 10th, 2004|12:55 am]
[mood |disturbed]
[music |Dawn of the Dead version of "Down With The Sickness"]

this just isn't right...

Who will give you an orgasm?
by leslie13
So, who will make you moan?George Bush.
How?Saying "Go, go orgasm!"
Will it be good?yeah, you can still feel it.
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

well he's fucking over everyone else in this country, guess i'm included.
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Hate to bumb the cave email... [May. 9th, 2004|09:48 pm]
[mood |mischievousmischievous]
[music |Metallica - Fade To Black -Live Shit-]

i almost just want to leave that osama post up for good, but then i'd have to find something else to do.

My day: woke up at 1:45 to the maid going YOU WANT TOWEL!!!! 'NO' YOU NO WANT TOWEL?!?! 'NOOO' I CAN BRING TOWEL LATER!! 'NOOOOOO TOWELLL!' ......YOU NEED ANYTHING ELSE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I haven't let them in in like 3 days i think they're suspecting i got a meth lab in here or something.

Watched the sharks lose while shooting terrorists, talked to people online, got the new napster version so i could finish burning a CD for andrea, got some food, yadda yadda yadda. Nothing worth talking about. Had an intresting conversation with ashley about us, that's about it.

The CD for andrea is a list of my favorite songs. Well not really, a month from now i'll look back and be like wtf. I know only about half of these are my favorites i just can't think of any others. Plus i'd have about 2 CDs full of metallica before i got to anyone else anyways.

Metallica - Star Spangled Banner - Cliff Burtons Final Solo
Orgy - Blue Monday
Disturbed - The Game
Breaking Benjamin - Phase
Metallica - The Unnamed Feeling
Oleander - Where Were You Then?
Red With Envy - Winter
Adema - Betrayed ME
Linkin Park - P5hng Me A*ay -Live-
Die Trying - Dirty Dirty
Griswald - Lotus
Oleander - Are You There
Linkin Park - A Place For My Head
Orgy - Stitches
NOFX - The Idiots Are Taking Over
Griswald - Stranger Somewhere
Oleander - Runaway Train
Metallica - Fade To Black -Live-
Breaking Benjamin - Forever
Guns n' Roses - November Rain

Gotta get up at 4 in the morning, but i know i'm gonna be up past 12 tonight cuz i wont be able to sleep.


there's a good pic on there, well, if your a guy anyways. Lyrical post of today comes from Orgy... Off their new semi independent release Punk Statik Paranoia. I guess their last label left them since mainstream america wont bring them back into their homes like they did five years ago. Good, mainstream america makes me fucking sick (yes i know i'm a lotta mainstream back off bitch). Anyways the song is called Pure:

Don't you bring me down
Kick me when I'm down

Put me away again
Every now and then
Your bottle spinning my fate
As I hold my breath
And you say you don't want any part of this now
Where did it go so wrong

I guess I'm finally finding out
It's got me tripping now
The little things, everywhere I go
It's such a shame
Why you held on, so long
Why don't you confuse me a little more?
Confuse me

And I never thought that you
Who would believe that I wasn't good enough?
Those things I never thought you'd do
You got the best of me

You got the best of me, when you said you didn't love me anymore
And I know, this will be the last time

You've got me, running in circles like a freak
So why do you try, to kick me when I'm down
I'm down, all the way down

Put me away again
Every now and then
Your bottle spinning my fate
While I hold my breath
Don't sweat the lies that you say I control
Confuse me a little more
(Confuse me)

And I never thought that you
Who would believe that I wasn't good enough?

Those things I never thought you'd do
You got the best of me
You and all your secrets don't need me
You got the best of me, when you said you didn't love me anymore
And I know, this will be the last time
You've got me, running in circles like a freak
So why do you try to, kick me when I'm down
I'm down

So when you say you've let me go, let me go
'Cause you didn't care about this, sorry you
I guess you'll be all right
Now that you've got things to go your way

How could you be like this?
This it the last time but you don't hear me though

You got the best of me, when you said you didn't love me anymore
And I know, this will be the last time
You've got me, running in circles like a freak
So why do you try to, kick me when I'm down
I don't understand the way
That you're thinking, thinking

Who could believe that I wasn't good enough?
Who could believe that I wasn't good enough?
Confuse me a little more
Who would believe that I wasn't good enough?
Who could believe that I wasn't good enough?

I'm out for now-
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awsome [May. 9th, 2004|05:09 am]
[mood |amusedamused]
[music |Brain In A Cage - Galifinakis Revenge]

just got this had to get it down in here

From: Bin Laden, Osama [mailto:osama@taliban.com]
Sent: Monday, November 19, 2001 8:17 AM
To: Cavemates
Subject: The Cave

Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours but we've really come together as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that says "There is no I in team" as well as the one that says "Hang In There, Baby." That cat is hilarious. However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave. And frankly I have a few concerns.

First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the scorpions in our cave. Hey, you don't want to be stung and neither do I, so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've posted a sign-up sheet near the main cave opening.

Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the most powerful country on earth, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background. Just while we're taping. Thanks.

Third point, and this is a touchy one. As you know, by edict, we're not supposed to shave our beards. But I need everyone to just think hygiene, especially after mealtime. We're all in this together.

Fourth: food. I bought a box of Cheez-Its recently, clearly wrote "Osama" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, my Cheez-Its were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.

Finally, we've heard that there may be American soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar, and John.

Love you lots.

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"Land Of The Free?" [May. 9th, 2004|04:13 am]
[mood |indifferentindifferent]
[music |Yellowcard - One Year Six Months]

BILL NELSON: And when you all had this discussion with the president, what did the president say that you should do about those abuses?

RUMSFELD: Well, I don't know that I'm going to get into private discussions with the president.

"We know where they are. They're in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat. We know where they are."
Donald Rumsfeld, Secretary of Defense - ABC Interview - 3/30/2003

Well no shit sherlock, THAT'S EVERY FUCKING DIRECTION!

"No one ever said that we knew precisely where all of these agents were, where they were stored."
Condoleeza Rice, US National Security Advisor - Meet the Press - 6/8/2003

"You may be reading too much. I don't know anybody that I can think of who has contended that the Iraqis had nuclear weapons."
Donald Rumsfeld, Secretary of Defense - DoD News Briefing - 6/24/2003

Is everyone in this country fucking stupid? I know Bush fixed the election but (that is a FACT, post a comment if you want links to proof)how was it close enough for him to do that? Anyone remember the 2000 debates. Every question he looked like a 9 year old kid digging in a crackerjacks box for answers. Gore was actually laughing at him because he was so fucking stupid. Problem is Gore was tied to Clinton, and Gore talked like a robot. I'm sorry but give me a horny robot over this teamkilling fucktard any day of the week. He can't even eat a pretzel for fucks sake.

Here's some good WTF Bush quotes:

"One of the most meaningful things that's happened to me since I've been the governor—the president—governor—president. Oops. Ex-governor. I went to Bethesda Naval Hospital to give a fellow a Purple Heart, and at the same moment I watched him—get a Purple Heart for action in Iraq—and at that same—right after I gave him the Purple Heart, he was sworn in as a citizen of the United States—a Mexican citizen, now a United States citizen."—Washington, D.C., Jan. 9, 2004

"But the true strength of America is found in the hearts and souls of people like Travis, people who are willing to love their neighbor, just like they would like to love themselves."—Springfield, Mo., Feb. 9, 2004

"The illiteracy level of our children are appalling."—Washington, D.C., Jan. 23, 2004

"See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction."—Milwaukee, Wis., Oct. 3, 2003
- We have well over ten thousand WMDs, i guess we're just special

"Security is the essential roadblock to achieving the road map to peace."—Washington, D.C., July 25, 2003

"I'm the master of low expectations."—Aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003

"I think war is a dangerous place."—Washington, D.C., May 7, 2003
- My friend mike said it was adjacent to 'Oblivia'

"I think the American people—I hope the American–I don't think, let me—I hope the American people trust me."—Washington, D.C., Dec. 18, 2002
- ... It's not his fault, he's still using a Pentium II, takes a while to process

"They misunderestimated me."-Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program."-St. Charles, Mo., Nov. 2, 2000

"The legislature's job is to write law. It's the executive branch's job to interpret law."-Austin, Texas, Nov. 22, 2000
- Pssttt... Dubya- that's the Judicial Branch you DUMBFUCK

"I'm gonna talk about the ideal world, Chris. I've read- I understand reality. If you're asking me as the president, would I understand reality, I do."-On abortion, Hardball, MSNBC; May 31, 2000
- W T F

BUSH: "First of all, Cinco de Mayo is not the independence day. That's dieciseis de Septiembre, and ..." MATTHEWS: "What's that in English?" BUSH: "Fifteenth of September."-Hardball, MSNBC, May 31, 2000
- Umm, you mean the 16th?

"Actually, I...this may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about...when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me."-ibid

"I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California."-In Los Angeles as quoted by the Los Angeles Times, April 8, 2000
- Give me your vote I'm closer to your state then to DC?

"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?"-Concord, N.H., Jan. 29, 2000

"There needs to be debates, like we're going through. There needs to be town-hall meetings. There needs to be travel. This is a huge country."-Larry King Live, Dec. 16, 1999

"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it." -Reuters, May 5, 2000
- If your reading this and you voted for Bush this is what you need to do; raise up your right arm sideways, then throw it across your body letting your hand stike your face rather violently while saying, I'M SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT.

Okay political rant of the day is done, see what shooting terrorists does to you, makes you political. LOL
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cleanout the trash [May. 9th, 2004|02:58 am]
[mood |thirstythirsty]
[music |Double Down - The Cup]

Cattell's 16 Factor Test Results
Warmth |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Intellect ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Emotional Stability ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Aggressiveness |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Liveliness ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Dutifulness |||||||||||| 38%
Social Assertiveness ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Sensitivity ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Paranoia ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Abstractness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Introversion |||||||||||| 34%
Anxiety |||||||||||||||||| 58%
Openmindedness ||||||||||||||| 50%
Independence |||||||||||| 38%
Perfectionism |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Tension ||||||||||||||| 46%
Take Free 16pf based Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Apparently i'm warm and weird, ya that's pretty much right. Socially assertive and sensitive? Fuck alright i guess that's true too. My fucking IExplorer keeps going to homepage it's pissing me off.

I've been cleaning out my overloaded email and found about ten thousand of these:

I love you [------------------------------------------------------------] that much, which is a lot considering my attention span is about negative 2 at the moment. In English...I love you more than anything and you're the greatest person in the world. I wish I could carry you around in my pocket so you'd always be with me. Well...unless I was wearing pants that don't have pockets in which case I don't know where I'd put you...this is going to end very wrong so I'll just stop...
Have fun sleeping. I'll talk to you in the am of tomorrow (technically afternoon since you're a lazy person who doesn't get up til 12 =P ) Alrighty...well...sleep well, dream good things. I love you...dream sweet. Night night baby.
Leanna...with all my heart.

PS: *kisses*

It's kinda funny looking back on old stuff like that. I don't really know how to describe it. I don't feel shitty anymore about it but it's just a real sorta numbing feeling seeing stuff like that. Kinda like that part of you that's gone and isn't coming back is haunting you, just for shits and giggles. It's hard to believe I had something that good in my life for so long, that it was the everyday norm to see things like that just randomly show up. I think i'm finally at that point where when i look back i don't see the bad that happened at the end i just see the good and remember all the reasons i loved her so much. *cough* love her so much. I'll never be able to look at her and not see my 'baby', but at least it doesn't hurt anymore. I'm reminded of her everyday from stuff, since we had so many memories and so much shit together. Every time i go back home i'll end up with one of her dyed red hairs stuck to a shirt or something out of nowhere, which is probly the most real reminder of how real it was even though now it feels like some sort of fairy tale or something that never really happened. People arn't supposed to be as happy as we were, nobody can be that happy for a long period of time. When you find perfection you eventually need to find something different just to have something to work on. Random sports analagy; barry bonds hit 73 home runs, a record for a season. Perfection. But it wasn't good enough, the next season he hit for a .370 BA to win the batting title. Perfection in a different way.

People will always strive for better no matter how good what they have is, which would be the easiest way to describe what happened. Relationships at this age don't last because you don't realize how good something is until you've been through years and years of bad. Once your 25 when you get something that is good, you hold on to it. You don't look for anything else because you've HAD everything else.

I'll be there to see her and a bunch of friends graduate in two weeks, although I'll most likely to be watching from a ways away. I know that's going to hurt really bad. I'll LITERALLY be watching her live her life from afar. Someone started talking about how she looked at prom and what she did and shit, and i was like shut the fuck up i don't wanna hear it. That's a grip a shit right there. Ignorant people make me want to be a terrorist so i can blow up their house. I know she looked amazing i don't need a reminder of how beautiful she is lol. Leanna is a lost cause now, she's going to resent me forever for what was said, even though I spoke the truth. Sometimes the truth hurts.

Alright normally i wont bitch about relationship stuff all the time but it's almost 4 and i've seen sportscenter about 5 times, nothing good or important. Griffey got 2 HRs, i hope he is getting back to old form. Oh, i'm finally going back to palm springs next weekend (i think) so i'll be able to pickup the stuff i got for andrea, then the next time i drive back to chico she can finally get it. God knows when that'll be.

I'm gonna go shoot some more terrorists, weapon of choice; America's Army: Special Forces (Counterstike is too old these days, and Rainbox Six 3 on xbox requires unplugging my dsl for xbox live, which would take someone who isn't a lazy asshole)
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i'm hungry [May. 9th, 2004|01:20 am]
[mood |blankblank]
[music |Die Trying - So Long]

"Your not eatin it, your shreddin some hot licks... with your teeth."


Good sbemail, they've gone down hill like the last six months but that one was good. DOG AND A ALSO A CAT SHAPED EYEBROWS!! With some muskrats...

linkinrockaddict: lol this is quite sad
SmAshiNgDV2: ?
linkinrockaddict: that you sincerely are this bored.
SmAshiNgDV2: you think i have a lot to do
linkinrockaddict: apparently not
SmAshiNgDV2: i have jack shit to do
linkinrockaddict: i remember when you had a deadjournal like 2 years ago
linkinrockaddict: lol
SmAshiNgDV2: lol
linkinrockaddict: back when everyone did
linkinrockaddict: you wrote like 5 entries then it disappeared
SmAshiNgDV2: there's only so much porn on the internet to look at before you say fuck it and make a journal
linkinrockaddict: then you're obviously not looking hard enough.

well i might not have the porn surfing abilities of alys, but i'm definately fucking bored. krystals mom sounds like a typical mexican mom, giving her all that presure about who to date and stuff. I still don't get why she looks more asian than mexican.

**34 days, 22 hours, 35 minutes, and 13 seconds left until the Olsen twins' 18th Birthday!**

Well that's uplifting, in 34 more days you can legally have a threesome with the twins. It came to my attention that every single guy in the entire world would list that as their ultimate fantasy. I mean every guy; if there's any chicks reading this just take note, your boyfriend wants to fuck them more than you and always will. Rightfully so, goddamn their hot :P If they do playboy it will sell more copies then thriller sold albums.

and oh ya i'm hungry... all i have is peanuts from the flights but i refuse to eat them, i'm saving them even though i know it's stupid. If you don't know why i am then you don't need to know now do you BITCH.

Time to make more ebay payments WOOT.
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oh ta ghaY nes [May. 9th, 2004|12:29 am]
[mood |restlessrestless]
[music |Metallica - To Live Is To Die]

it's 12:30 and i'm bored, just spent like 2 hours talking to laura about andrea and all our fun shit which i lack the energy or will to write about. Actually i just sent her an email. Maybe she'll realize i don't hate her or whatever the hell she's thinking right now.

SmAshiNgDV2: maybe the problem is we care to much to just be friends and that's what we have to be right now, so it's like fucking with both of us
SmAshiNgDV2: lol but i really don't know
dustsettles: yeah i think thats what it is
SmAshiNgDV2: i think i should just stop hanging out with anyone in high school :)
dustsettles: hahaha yeah thats probably for the better
dustsettles: NOT
SmAshiNgDV2: lol
dustsettles: we young minds are the future and you could be greatly inspired
SmAshiNgDV2: your all too young, i'll end up in prison
SmAshiNgDV2: lol
dustsettles: hahaha
SmAshiNgDV2: i'm gonna some day wake up in jail like WTF
SmAshiNgDV2: oh shit... damn those 16 year olds!
dustsettles: hahaha with a fat hangover

laura is great, sadly she kinda is andrea's replacement in the sense that we always have fun together like me and andrea did. Only in that sense though, and it's not by choice. Me and andrea were always different, there was always more to the relationship, something that isn't there with laura. But oh ya this happened to it's to hilarious not to post.

SmAshiNgDV2: these chicks don't even know the name of my band
linkinrockaddict: who?
SmAshiNgDV2: LOL
SmAshiNgDV2: L O L
linkinrockaddict: *looks confused*
SmAshiNgDV2: my salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance and take off their underpants
SmAshiNgDV2: my salsa
SmAshiNgDV2: bitch

even over the internet she can still have an alys moment.

Here's something cute, the bitch ass maids stole my last 4 checks out of my checkbook. and of course they don't know who cleaned the room yesturday. I actually believe them though cuz i had them come knock on my door about 4 times before noon today, and it was a different person each time. Well the checks are blocked so have fun bitches. Speaking of blocked, i buy so much shit off of ebay my card gets blocked every day now so i have to call in and unblock it like every 36 hours. oh ta ghaY nes.

Kings lost today cuz they choked. They didn't rebound a freethrow miss with 9 to go that would have given them a chance. The last 4 minutes they played 1 on 1 instead of moving the ball and creating shots. Fucking wolves. Giants lost again, no surprise, they're fucking shitty this season. Tim Rattay got hurt, which is actually good, dorsey should be starting next season, that or get collins or warner. Sharks play tomarrow, my sister is going which pisses me off. My mom actually asked my dad to send her money for the PLAYOFF tickets the day she sent off the divorce papers, riiiiiiiiiiiighhhttttttttt.

Going to disneyland next sat with erin and alys i guess, oh shit i need to see if the angels play that night... nope they're at baltimore. Disneyland sucks but it will be cool to hang out with people i never do these days.

What else... taking ashley out for the j-squad special when i get back, taking laura out for same lol. I haven't seen ashley in ages so that will be fun, and she's single woot :P

Okay enough for now I need to get back to shooting terrorists. oh ta ghaY nes
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"and australia was still like, WTF?" [May. 7th, 2004|06:27 pm]
[mood |boredbored]
[music |nofx - the idiots are taking over]


exactly, WTF. For me to actually give in to doing one of these stupid ass journals says one thing; LA FUCKING SUCKS. There's nothing to do here cuz everyone is retarded. Stockton was all pregnant mexicans, palm springs is all gay old people, UCR would be cool if i actually had time to do anything (note i have against expectant mothers, hispanics, homosexuals, the elderly or mentally challenged people. however large concentrations of such will make for a pretty good buzzkill). I work from 6-6 and then get about 3 or 4 hours of nothingness. Weekends blow. They consist of nothing but shitty fewd, xbox live, and a few phone calls. It'd be nice if i had my cell phone but i still haven't bought a new one. Paintball last weekend hurt my wallet pretty good.

So why am i doing this? COMPLETE... TOTAL... BOREDOM. I literally have nothing better to do. You can only frag so many 14 year olds before you get bored. I don't have any of the 3 people i used to talk to daily anymore, (leanna, sammy, andrea) andrea was a cute story last night. Anyways, that's good for now i'm gonna get some grub and then come back and bitch about my life some more.
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